Just finished physics exam three, and it was worse than the nightmare I had the other night about being assimilated by the Borg on a giant apartment-building-cube. I guess I prefer running in terror to digging in my brain and finding nothing that I need. Have you ever waited in a long line for some important thing (I don’t know an example off the top of my head, but I remember it seemed to happen all the time in the Navy), and the clerk or service person or whomever informs you that you’re missing the simplest little piece of paperwork or something, but that you CANNOT proceed without it? You’ve got to go get whatever it is, and get right back in line.
Some things are just aggravating. Feeling prepared and finding out that you were utterly unprepared is one of those things. And that’s my life in this physics class. I read, study, review my notes, complete all of my assignments, and work through problems. I even spend some of my “free” time (which consists of the few hours I spend either driving or hanging out with my husband in the evenings) just thinking about how I could apply the laws and theorems and mathematical relationships to stuff. I really do. And I’m interested in physics. I don’t neglect school in my sleep either. I dream about things I’m working hard on.
For the first time in my life, I’m really trying, but I’m not getting the results I want. Truthfully, I tried very hard in calc. I over the summer, too, and the results were not what I wanted either, but they were acceptable (a B instead of an A). But I’m getting wicked pissed with my physics class. I know it’s not a good idea to teach that sort of class in a “monkey see monkey do” way, just showing students problems, then testing them on basically the same problems with different values. I don’t want a half-assed education because I really do hope to one day be competent at some sort of good job. But back to the wicked pissed part: I read, study, etc., and then when the test comes, I just want to go to my professor and ask, “Where did you get this?” because it really seems like the only things I see on the test are things that were only mentioned in passing during lectures or in the book.
Then when lecture comes around, starting some new material, I’m just thinking, “Why are you showing me this awesome, easy problem? Can’t we go over, I dunno, one or two problems that are on the same difficulty level that we’ll see on the test?” Just thinking about it pisses me off when I’m in class. I don’t even want to see the examples because I know they will not help me. It’s like getting a lesson on adding and subtracting, but then a quiz on long division.
In conclusion, I hate school.